Rottenday: Dominator, I'm not a Darkspawn Lord. Have a little more faith in me than that. (Dominator sighs) If you showed yourself to the High Council unannounced, based on what they've heard about you, they'd probably kill you. If you died, then I'd have no one to help command my army.
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Dominator: "Dear Pop-Pop and Meemaw, this is Dominator's Log, Day... 0, I guess. So here I am cruising the cosmos in a giant battleship, armed to the teeth with robots, wearing a suit that amplifies my awesome powers, and ready to destroy a galaxy. It's not too bad out here, but I already miss you guys, and as soon as I find a galaxy to destroy, I'll be home eventually to tell you all about it. Until then, I will represent my Darkspawn heritage with pride, crushing anyone who gets in my way, and shower on a regular basis so I don't get nasty B.O. Anyway, wish I could send you this; you'd have to get an email address. Love, Lord Dominator." (Saves the file) ...Ugh! If only it were that simple! There's a gazillion stupid galaxies out there! A gazillion times more if you include the United Universes! Sure, Pop-Pop's conquered worlds before, and destroyed any who opposed him, but he never destroyed a whole galaxy! Where am I going to find one full of dorks ripe for dominating, dorks full of hope and-- (suddenly she hears an explosion) Whoa! What the grop was that? (Looks at an observation screen and sees treasure falling toward a galaxy) Whoa... that treasure looks awesome, but is the galaxy worth the trouble of destroying?
Dominator: (wakes up slowly) Man, I'm glad I got these curtains, otherwise people would see I sleep in the nude. (To the audience) Quit imagining that, you pervs! (Stretches, but then sniffs her armpit) Man, I reek! (We cut to her in the shower (still censored) as she hums "I'm the Bad Guy"; cut to her in a robe as she brushes her teeth; cut to her in work-out clothes as she prepares to do push-ups) One, two, three, four, five, six... whaddya lookin' at? It's a cartoon! (Cut to a close-up where Dominator hears her growling stomach) Oh, I knew I forgot something.
Dominator: (she is shown in her armor) Okay, after a short time of hearing about this whole Greatest in the Galaxy thing, I've decided to check on something called the Galactic Villain Leaderboard. And the reason I'm making a video about this is because I'm about to show how I react to my position. Let's do this. (Opens the leaderboard) Okay, I don't even know most of these people. Now let's move up. Hmm... where am I? There are more planets listed as I go... up... wait... wait, wh-what? Wha... what? No... No... ahh... AHH... AHHHH...
Dominator: (it's revealed that she finished the candy ring, and she sits down at her computer) "Dominator's Log. Dear Pop-Pop and Meemaw, earlier today I heard rumors about an all-powerful Ring of Invincibility at the top of the Blastroid Asteroid Formation. I had HOPED to get that ring to help me destroy this galaxy faster, but when I got there, all I saw was this lame but delicious candy ring. I don't know who put it there in the first place, but give them credit-- how did they know blorpberry was my favorite flavor? Also, this Lord hater guy tried to stop me from getting it, not knowing it was a fake. For a complete joke of a villain, he was pretty powerful; he could've conquered this galaxy before I had a chance to destroy it. By the way, I think he fell in love with me after the fight, but you both know I'm still getting over Lord Masculator, and I don't want a boyfriend right now. Either way, I'll be back to destroying the galaxy, then I'll be right home. Love, Lord Dominator." And... save.
Dominator: (looks out a window of her ship) Something tells me this is gonna be a Dominator kind of day. (a horn honk is heard) Hmm? Who could that be? (Leaves her throne room and goes to the loading dock and sees a mail truck there) Huh? (Goes up to the mailman) What are YOU doing here?
Dominator: (her mask lifts up) Oh, hello. (Her mask lowers) And goodbye. (She uses her glove to create a shockwave powerful enough to send all the Watchdogs and Hater back to the Skullship) You know, it's cool if you guys wanna take five! I need a breather! (pause) I guess they can't hear me.
Dominator: All right, I've heard quite a racket from over in this sector... which is weird, because I thought I dominated every planet here. (Looks and sees nothing there) Huh. Must've been my imagination.
Dominator: (she's seen hearing Hater's rock music) Ugh, all this rock and roll! I mean, I do LIKE rock and roll, and whoever's playing it is really good, but they've been playing for four days straight! I'm gonna go over there and put a stop to this! (She approaches the planet, but the music has stopped) Hey! (Her ship blasts lava at the stage) Where'd the music go? I was enjoying that! Well, maybe you could've taken a break now and then... but as long as I'm out here... (starts shooting lasers at the planet)
Dominator: Hey, bots. I'm gonna go take my morning shower. One of you, bring my morning coffee when it's done. And if Hater shows up for any reason, beam his ship in and bring him to my throne room. (Goes into the bathroom, and gets in the shower (censored, of course). Then she hears this song faintly)
Dominator: Ugh, seriously? (Retracts her arms back) Be right back. (She throws Hater, Wander, and the broken banjo into the prison cell.) Ooh, why don't you take this time to work on your death rattles? I like a "No, no, no, no, no, no!" But a "Why?!" is not without its charms. (As she leaves, she hears the Watchdogs escaping) I really need a faster prison security system. Hmm... that's weird, my control room doesn't feel as hot as it used to be. (Starts walking down the hallway) I don't remember the halls being this cool, either. (shudders) Brrr! It's getting colder by the second! What gives? (She runs over to the freezing lava core) Oh, grop! (Backs away) The Frostonium... it was a ruse! I have to stop this! (Dominator runs to the controls and desperately tries to stop the ship from freezing. Soon the ice messes with the computer and starts freezing her as well) No, no, no, no, no, no! (Freezes up completely; A few seconds later, Dominator's ship is completely frozen. A few more seconds later, she uses her lava powers to thaw not only herself but her entire ship as well, and its power goes out) WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW, that was cold! All right, I can fix this. Just a little adjustment here... (she gets the power back on, but everything is blue) What the--? It's blue... wait, does this mean...? (She armors up, and it's revealed now she has ice and lava powers.) Oh man, this is so cool! Thanks, losers! (Evil laughter) Wait'll I tell Pop-Pop and Meemaw about this in my log! (Suddenly she hears singing and goes back to scare them off) Enough with the singing already! Obviously, I'M the greatest! (Produces a small fire in one hand and freezes the fire with the other) Besides, show's over. (Snaps fingers)
Dominator: What?! Ugh, never mind. (Gets out of her chair and walks up to three of her robots) Hey, Bot 76, you wanna hear a joke? Okay, okay, so a Flendarian, a Kremlon, and a ballet dancer walk into a petting zoo... (time skip) And then, the ballet dancer says, "Annihilation? I thought her name was Susan." [laughing] And then, you know, she got annihilated. [long pause] Oh, come on. That was funny. [sighs] Run humor protocol.
Dominator: Eh, it's not important. (Jumps over the traffic to a karaoke joint and she enters, then hears Sylvia singing) Hey! It's that Zbornak that's always getting up in my grill. [giggling] This night is shaping up even better than I thought. (She witnesses Sylvia and a slug-like alien fighting over the mic until Sylvia knocks him off the stage)
Dominator: You know, if you keep interrupting, I won't get to the punch line. Anyway, one of the rocks hits the pit monster in the eye, causing it to scream. The Kremlon gets so shocked that it slips and falls in. Then it gets devoured whole by the pit monster. The robot zookeeper, after hearing the scream, runs back, alarmed. He realizes what has happened and turns to the ballet dancer. He pulls out a blaster, aiming it straight at her. So, she snatches the blaster away from him, thinking that he's giving the weapon to her. The robot zookeeper says "For your rule-breaking, you must now face annihilation!" And-and then the ballet dancer says, "Annihilation? I thought her name was Susan!"
Hater, Peepers, and Sylvia: [screaming] Activate escape mode! (Hater, Peepers, and Sylvia's footsteps are heard approaching the head, which they use to escape the Robomechabotatron's body before the missiles blow it up. After the explosion, there's nothing but the head, the left leg and Dominator's bot)
Dominator: And after a while... Rottenday found me. Hmm... (looks at her final log) "Dominator's Log: Final Day..." (mumbles as she reads) "Managed to thwart me..." (mumbles) "Wanted to be my friend..." (mumbles) "They were all a bunch of dorks." (Sighs, then types) "But I don't think I'm any better than them. When I started spending the night out with the Zbornak, she... called me her... friend. That night, I felt something. It was like a tiny crack of light entering my heart. And when I thought I was done destroying that galaxy, that crack just... kept getting bigger. And after my ship exploded, I had an epiphany: Wander helped me realize that other than my probes, I was all alone. When I saw the galaxy returning to life, I felt a sense of beauty within it. I thought about it, and I think, that if I DID destroy that galaxy, I probably WOULD be all alone. I didn't mean for it to happen, even though it didn't. If any of my previous logs talking about destroying stuff has caused you to be disappointed in any way..." (sniffles) "Then I made a grave mistake. Please understand. I want to understand. I'm sorry. Love... Lord Dominator. End Log." (Saves her log, exits her jump drive and slumps down on her bed) Activate sympathy protocol sigma. (pauses) Oh, I forgot, my bots were destroyed. (Then she looks up at a shooting star with twinkling eyes, not knowing that Lord Rottenday is peeking into her room) 2ff7e9595c
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